Someone decided to rehang a mirror in the dining room, even though it had been on the floor hurting nobody for years. While moving it in place, someone got a splinter. I used to get splinters when I was young. My pediatrician thought it was cute – it’s a rite of passage. He would remove … Read more
“Are you ready to start your shoulder therapy session?” “Yes, but my other shoulder is still pretty sore. Oh, and I tore up my knee the other day, so I’m limping. Oh, and I have stitches in my hand.” “Just go sit over there and think about healing.”
A few years ago, one of our idiot dogs (all of dogs are idiot dogs) peed on the floor. As I walked down a darkened hallway, I felt my foot going out from under me. I slid, cursed, avoided doing the splits, and managed to land on my knees, with most of the weight on … Read more
Most people have some important questions when a doctor recommends surgery. Questions like: Is is covered by my insurance? How long is the recovery period? Will it hurt? Will I still be able to play the piano? Luckily, when you’re a SuperKlutz, there is only one question: Will it interfere with the physical therapy from … Read more
Virginia decided to go to my checkup with me one morning, and managed to trip and fall down the stair in the garage. The stair. Not “the stairs”, like normal people. Now, we had me and the limping partner. So, when we got to the doctor, we just said, “Yes, it’s my appointment, but she … Read more
Virginia had a huge cast on her leg after her Achilles surgery. It was to keep everything in place for the early stages of healing, before moving on to the boot. There’s really only one rule with a cast: Don’t stick anything in it. I’ve never actually worn a cast (just a bandage when I … Read more
Shoulder surgery is a big deal. You’re in a brace, you can’t use it for weeks, it needs physical therapy when the healing is done. There’s really only three words at the beginning of recovery: Don’t Use It. So, this is partially my fault, because I picked an inconvenient time to have a Vertigo attack … Read more
So, our power went out, because it’s Dallas, and we lost all of the food in our deep freeze. Lots of slowly defrosting foods. Virginia decided to let everything refreeze and toss it closer to trash pickup day, which made sense, because it’s hot in Texas and we have rats, raccoons and Lord knows what … Read more
Virginia was walking one of the dogs one night when she heard a buzzing and then was stung by a wasp. (Well, our pest control guy saw a selfie of the wound and thought it was a paper wasp. Hmm. How many guys have their clients sending them closeups of bug bites on their chests?) … Read more
Ripley, one of our dogs, had back problems. He could have been partially paralyzed, so serious back problems. After his vet had put the kids through college repairing Ripley!s back, she told us about a permanent fix. So, after two operations, there was an operation that would have prevented the two operations. Of course, the … Read more