A Plank in the Finger

Someone decided to rehang a mirror in the dining room, even though it had been on the floor hurting nobody for years. While moving it in place, someone got a splinter.

I used to get splinters when I was young. My pediatrician thought it was cute – it’s a rite of passage. He would remove it, tape it to a tongue depressor and date it. There’s a pile of them (along with some stitches) somewhere.

Splinters don’t usually happen after you get into double-digit ages unless you’re a carpenter or .. a SuperKlutz.

So, SuperKlutz tried to get it out with a tweezer. No luck. She searched the Internet and determined soaking the finger in vinegar would remove it. Who thinks this will work? She tied a banana skin around it with a bandage. (What sites is she reading?)

Finally, she went to the doctor. After about nine minutes of surgery and two tweezers, the splinter was removed. It would have taken less time if the nurse practitioner hadn’t been suppressing giggles the whole time.

She does not have it on a tongue depressor.