Here are some quick notes on how to cheer on your Grand Prairie AirHogs, for anyone new to the game of baseball. First of all, welcome! Secondly, QTP is a family environment, so you can’t cuss as much as you will often feel the urge – did you ever notice how loud the music gets when Pete goes to “chat” with the umpires? So, all the standard things you would say to your boss, spouse, children or pets are out. Let’s try to be positive out there!
- On any ball – “Wait for your pitch!” or “Good eye!”
- On any foul – “Keep workin'”, “Straighten it out a bit!”, “Make him pitch!!”
- On any called strike – “WHAT?!?” (see Umpires section)
- On any (obvious) strike – “If that would have connected, it would be in downtown Dallas!”
- On any ball – “WHAT?!?” (see Umpires section)
- On any foul – “Nice try”, “Pitch too fast for you?”
- On any called strike – “Good call”, “What are you waiting for?”
- On any (obvious) strike – “What was that ‘whooshing’ sound?”, “Thanks for the breeze!”, “So close!”
Any umpire is called “Blue” because
- that’s the color of his uniform
- nobody remembers their names from the pre-game announcements
- he just “blue” the call or you wouldn’t be yelling!
Because of baseball’s policy on inclusiveness and government ADA regulations, most umpires are legally blind. However, like dogs, they don’t know they’re blind, they just use their other senses to make up for it. Unfortunately, you can’t really smell whether a pitch was a ball or a strike, so they need help from the crowd to use their sense of hearing to know how they are doing.
After any call against the AirHogs
- C’mon, Blue!
- Hey, Blue! Need a rulebook?
- Hey, Blue! Get a clue!
- How did you find the park with those eyes?
- How much are opposing team paying you?
After any call for the AirHogs
- Got one right, Blue!
- just stunned silence
Finally, on the other team – in many parts of society, heckling is seen as rude, but it is also an effective method of intimidation – the AirHogs have said they get heckled elsewhere, so feel free to let the other team know they are not playing at home. Just be clever instead of abusive – if their third baseman’s mother rides a bicycle, he probably already knows it and is ashamed. However, reminding him that your daughter in Little League has a higher batting average would be effective. A crucial point – he doesn’t know you don’t actually have a daughter in Little League!
My favorite heckle of all time was telling one of their pitchers (after he had given up a couple of hits) that he was a good T-ball pitcher.
WARNING Don’t tell their larger players they are fat. Some of those chubby guys are surprisingly nimble, and they have bats.
Enjoy the game! Go AirHogs!